I stayed in a high end luxury boutique hotel last night. It’s not my first time enjoying this level of luxury, but this time it hit a lot harder – it’s really not my cup of tea. The hotel is lovely and I guess offers all the things that a wealthy traveler looks for – a friendly staff to cater to your every need. I wasn’t allowed to go to the check in counter, I was led to a soft sofa, given a sparkling water, and a friendly handsome attendant took my passport and went and handled all the boring details. I only had to sign the paper when he returned.
He then walked me through the hotel’s events – a daily kickstart with coffee, hot soy milk, and croissant. An evening happy hour with free wine and hors devours. The hotel offered a gym and a garden with a lovely waterfall. Five star, Michelin dining, a top rated bar and a hot night club designed for instagrammers and Tik-Tok influencers. When I came down for the happy hour, the food certainly looked fancy and the choice of red, white, or sparkling wine was nice – though I would have preferred a gin and tonic or maybe even a bottle of local beer.
Then a photo shoot with some celebrities began to happen. It was already close to the level of the Taiwanese hostels where no one speaks to anyone they don’t already know, but now it went on a whole new level. Honestly, I had no idea what to say to anyone – so I left.
That evening I took my room voucher to the bar for a cocktail but found that it only covered about 2/3 of the price of a whiskey on the rocks, granted I did choose a decent (not great, but decent) single malt scotch. I was going to sit at the bar and write in my journal, but a conversation with an actual drunken Scottish man ensued which was random and fun but then he left and the very friendly hotel manager moved in to fill the void. I think he didn’t want me to feel lonely, but I was actually looking forward to having some public lonely time with a nice whiskey. He was pleasant and we talked about things that I am only mildly conversant in – and about me. I’m interesting, people always have questions, I try to direct the questions back to talking about them which is more interesting to me than talking about me, but somehow it always comes back to me – which is boring for me. And slightly uncomfortable – so I left.
The morning kickstarter was similar with people chatting among their friends/families. Rather than sitting talking to myself, I enjoyed my croissant and soy milk quietly and then left. My room came equipped with a lovely yoga mat and a fantastic raintree shower. The king size bed was actually the same size as my queen sized bed at home, but plenty big for me. I requested a queen but they upgraded me to the king the size of a queen. It suited me fine. The wifi was lightning fast, the room had some very delectable bon bons in it – presented in a glass box lined with white gravel. There was no bottled water but a portable water filter dispenser, the capsule coffee maker had four unmarked capsules – two brown and two purple. I drank them all, and whichever the decaffeinated was gave me a headache as usually happens if I drink decaf.
I can’t go to the lobby without a friendly staff member wanting to cater to my needs. I’ve requested a late check out because the bizarre gap between check in and check out at high end hotels leaves me with a mid day quandary as to what to do with my luggage. I know, hotels store it, but honestly, I just want to check in and flop on the bed. The room here is comfortable but the designer aspect confuses me. There is a tile entry way that would make a great mud room, but doesn’t seem to serve any other purpose. The minibar snacks and drinks are five times the price of the same things at the convenience store next door. The fridge is neatly arranged with minibar items but leaves no room for anything I might want to put in it. The bathroom products are lovely and in huge dispenser – the scents of the body wash and shampoo and lotion are mesmerizing. The toilet is a toto with a bidet. Perfect. The bathrobes are heavy and comfortable. The tile work in the bathroom is pretty bad and the layout of the bathroom is also lacking any fengshui. The phone looks just like a stapler – in fact, that’s what I thought it was at first.
I loved changing into my bathrobe, doing some yoga, and just hanging out in the room. I liked the bonbons, I slept well in the queen sized king bed, the shower was a joy, and the staff were all very nice. It’s a great experience – but not one that I need to pay $300 a night for in a city where I can get a capsule bed for $19 that includes a toto bidet toilet, free coffee and toast, and a kitchen I can cook in. The lounge at the Taipei Youth Hostel was friendlier and the staff there was also very nice. I guess if I was engaging in wild sex and the luxury afterglow with a fancy woman – maybe all of this would make sense but as a solo traveler, I’m just glad that I got it for free through a credit card points program and honestly, I wish there were an area outside the room where I could just hang out without engagement.
The best waiter I ever encountered seated me, made sure I understood the order, and then disappeared even while somehow keeping my glass filled and catering to my every need. When I wanted something, suddenly there he was, but otherwise, he just disappeared – like a salt shaker on the table. I think that’s the kind of luxury I want – and also – I want better views and no bizarre tiled entryway or shoddy tile work in the bathroom. A simple lip at the shower would have prevented the entire shower floor from getting soaked which unfortunately detracted from my enjoyment of the shower as soon as I opened the curtain.
Haha. These are even less than first world problems. These are 1% problems. I’m grateful to have stayed here but likely I won’t be back – unless I find that fancy woman and she insists.
